EPISODE 1 (Bunieya Enu)

Episode 1 (Bunieya Enu)

Situation went south with Bioye when she wore a trew to a friend's birthday party and Mum cut it with a scissors. Bioye has not been lucky with Mum's mood especially when Dad seemed to be out of the Town.

“Children’’ Dad called in a relaxed voice, rests his back on the sofa in the sitting room - what I could call his tradition after he just returned from work at sundown.

“Dad, what do you have for us today?” Bisola, my elder Sister asked after we assembled. My Sisters sat beside him tightly while I remained standing, making the two hands that stop on my upper hip to form letter V. The first thing that came to my mind was if he had purchased the Stereo set we demanded from him.

“Teejay, why don't you sit?” He sounded calm and I forced a smile.

“I am okay this way, Dad’” He shot a contemporary look at me, turned his neck to Bisola and whispered to her, finally getting to Bioye's.

“Your brother don't want to hear the latest news” He raised his voice higher this time and then, to me “Do you want to live forever trainee?”

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I laughed in anticipation “Yes Sir!” Dad usually ask such question whenever he wanted to give us something, something surprising.

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“Teejay, sit if you want to live forever then” Bioye said to me, I shot a harmless frown at her because she didn't add the title 'brother' to my name then, sat comfortably on another sofa. 

Meanwhile, no one knew Mum has been hearing our voices in the matrimonial room until we heard her voice stumbling at us.

“Honey, I think you have some packages for your children because- I don't know why Tunji would be laughing like a monkey” Mum says, giving laughter a wider publicity.

“I'm just taking them to the battlefield to crush their enemies with artillery and not only that” raised his voice “To flush their toilet of humanity-what do you think dear?” Mum was mute, knowing fully well she would be silently laughing and Busola mumbled words to Dad's ears.

“You know I can't carry such big gun; so” she rolled her eyes round the asbestos as if expecting inspiration to complete her statement “you have to give me a pistol” She demonstrated how a Pistol is held, stretching her both arms forward to their extreme.

“You will not kill me in this house with your jokes.. Haba! Do you want to cut my intestines? There is God o” Mum says with her voices nearly dying in the wayside before reaching us.

“Honey- your attention is needed o” Dad says. His room was the first at the left side while ours (though, differently) the right side. The other two rooms at the left side were luggage lodge and a Visitor room as the third one. Kitchen was at the backyard with Toilet and Bathroom attached to each room. Kitchen was by the left while the latter were by the right, respectively.

“You won't allow me to relax again? No problem, we shall come” Hardly could one hear words when the doors were closed, similar to an acoustic door.

“Bisola, Bioye, get up; I want to sit beside my husband. Get up!” They felt sad and hit me angrily when they sat beside me, pushed me to the center, suddenly made me a man with two wives. This time, I practised what my Basic Workshop Technology's Lecturer at the University do say 'practice makes one to be perfect', as I stretched my hands on their shoulders and forced them to hit their back gently against the sofa.

 I wasn't angry with Bioye again anyway and Mum didn't bother to query me; I guess the kiss she finally donated on Dad's cheek had made everything travelled with the thin air. She later stretched her hand across Dad's shoulder and rubbed his big tommy, slowly.

“My love, what do you have for us?” Dad had to calm himself before his lips started to sag to words.

“As a matter of fact, today suppose to be the most sophisticated and magnificent day of our lives” Mum turned her eyes upward, left it rolling, Bisola too doing the same- birds of a feather!

“Then, what is the thing?” Mum finally asked

 Dad whispered to Mum and she shouted in elation.

“Whao! This is fan-tastic!” Dad wasn't in Coat as before, he wore a trew and a vest that expose his watery so-called chest. I didn't react strangely, knowing she would later voice it and my Sisters stood from my side roughly and sat on another sofa next to Mum.

‘”What's it Mum?” I knew Bioye would be obtrusive even if Bisola would safeguard her maturity to be the watching Dog.

“Children, your Father has been made the General Manager of Dunad Limited” Mum says surprisingly. I didn't know when I stood and hugged Dad violently. Despite the wishes taken by joy, Mum was still jealousy to pull my hands off Dad's body, saying it was too harsh. If mine was excess, what about my Sister that nearly injured her with their roughness? I was still a better person.

‘”Dad, I can't just... Oh, I can't just believe this. You're now the General Manager of that Company? Oh my God!” I know that was what would end Bioye's words as she held her forehead tightly.

“You see-you see- I have made a prophesy...” this time, Electricity was restored “ I have made a prophesy in this house that nobody will defeat my Husband. Stand up for the Champion!” Mum says with happiness, gave more feathers to our laughter and prompted Mum's lips to lock into Dad's as if they would not get tired of it one day. I wondered how a ‘needle-holder’ would be a Prophet in a house let alone prophesizing at a Tabernacle.

“You” She points at Bioye “ Get us soft drinks inside the deep freeze; it calls for celebration” Bioye hauled ado and Mum started to shoot an attractive look at Dad.

“I'm happy for you honey, I always thank God whenever I'm with you. You are the best” She swept a finger at his beard and shot a casual laughter.

“Same here sweetheart; you are my angel” Dad flashed his lips on her brow.

“Oh, we're in the presence of these kids” Mum laughed.

“It's nothing dear” Dad said in a soft tone.

“Bioye, be quick” Mum moved a higher motion of order.

“Dad, but I think we should get off the Chopper since she's not ready to go to the battlefield” I thought he would smile but, my expectation was faulted.

“Cancel that, Trainee or you lick your elbow with your tongue” We both laughed.

“You can't do that General, I'm just doing my part” I said in return. Mum was mute again, she was busy giving Dad's chest romantic arousal, which made him to tell Bioye to open the fridge very well instead of ‘to close’. Bioye served everyone with 5alive in glass cups and we stood beside him to say the blessing.

‘”Love, will you say it?” Mum rolled her eyes upward to the asbestos again and she answered cunningly with a yes.

“Alright, speak on; let's hear you” I knew Mum was good at prayer but, not at prophesy she claimed of doing.

The prayer almost lasted for ten minutes; I have checked the wall clock before she started. “Amen!” We chorused, and clinked the glass cups.

“Dad, what about the package we demanded from you? It's the best in this situation” I managed to ask which made to be shy of his unsaid response.

“Yes, yes” I heard my Sisters backing me

“You people are not ashamed of yourselves in any way” I partly laughed, nearly sneezed inside the cup.

“Bioye” 

“Yes Dad”.

“Come here, the African Queen”

“Thanks Dad” She also responded as if she wasn't near to him and I mocked her by the lift of my nose. I wish she shouldn't forget Bola, her friend,who had called her a fashion blunder a day before.

  Dad whispered to her and she shouted ' Yes'. She placed her glass cup on the Centre Table roughly, which made the wine to control it till it settled, and dashed to Dad's room. The door locked violently, which made me to conclude she had intense interest in it, maybe it was the stiletto she personally requested from him but, it was the Stereo set itself. It was somewhat heavier than her, she had to use her head to pull the lock down and used her heel to shut the door.

“But, honey” Mum faced Dad surprisingly “ You didn't tell me you brought such thing to our room last night; you are really surprising me” Dad faced her and caressed her shoulders. Dad hid it under their bed - Bioye had whispered me.

“That's what I possess to override you, I brought it inside when everyone had slept” I was surprised too. People that do such are Criminals to me; did he have skeleton in his cupboard for bringing it in secretly? He'd proven that darkness is the best tool for a Soldier to attack.

“Really?” Mum asked, knowing she haven't finished her statement. I guess she wanted to ask how she didn't know when Dad pulled her off his chest to carry it from his car but, she would not ask such at the moment, not when ‘Teejay’ was there.

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“Yes my angel” says Dad. Bioye placed the stereo set beside a stool that a Dvd Player was placed. I ran to my room and brought out THE BEST OF P-SQUARE. I carried it out of the cartoon and connected it with two extra speakers that I got from Uncle Dele apart from the follow-come gbedu. After the respective cords were connected, I switched it on and it sounded GBUM. I inserted the CD and pressed the next button of the set till it reached the celebration track which is BUNIEYA ENU.

 Dad started to dance out of context, using a hand to rub his tommy with the other hand wandering at the front. I couldn't hold my laughter back, so as Mum. Even my Sisters that I thought they should be astonished too made it completely. They were dancing around Dad, I couldn't hold my dance as my leg removed the plug off the socket.

“Oh Teejay, what's wrong now?” My Sisters felt embarrassed. I peeped at Dad perhaps he would throw insult but, he didn't. He was dry firing to the beat that would soon be played back.

“Sorry Dad, I made a goff” I apologised.

Mum laughed till she sits violently.

“Darling, you're not serious at all” She said, often suffocated by laughter, nearly hitting her head against the handle of the sofa.

To be continued